Saturday, 9 January 2010

Cosmic Smash - Dreamcast

Somewhere in the future a man composed entirely of vector graphics is listening to some mild techno music and playing a game somewhere between breakout and squash: nonsensical yet strangely interesting Engrish sentences periodically interrupt the flow of play as he is whisked away by bus (cosmic bus) to strange new courts. After playing some twenty or so levels and encountering increasingly bewildering cyber-brick edifices another player much like yourself appears and challenges you to hit the ball past him: once defeated he is neither seen nor heard from again?! This brave new future is the one on which I am setting my sights: may the vectorization process commence!
He appears to have some form of primitive organs: notice the size of the brain - and I thought squash was the game of choice for academics.

 Trick shots abound - yet there is nobody (save an alluring omniscient Japanese woman) in this dimension to show off to! Wait a minute...

Racketboy Article
Download from Snesorama
Walkthrough at GameFAQ's 
Great Fansite
 Cosmic Bus 777

Next time you find yourself noisily squeaking and extolling gallons of sweat on the squash courts of Earth: cast your mind to that odorless yet funky far off galaxy in which the game reached its logical conclusion. Pirouetting and bounding you effortlessly slap your squash ball into a pile of neon blocks only to see them evaporate: producing a myriad chirping sounds. All the while, mild techno resonates from the walls of your court: as you glide on a steady vector through the vacuum of space.

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