Showing posts with label Dreamcast. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreamcast. Show all posts

Saturday, 9 January 2010

Cosmic Smash - Dreamcast

















Somewhere in the future a man composed entirely of vector graphics is listening to some mild techno music and playing a game somewhere between breakout and squash: nonsensical yet strangely interesting Engrish sentences periodically interrupt the flow of play as he is whisked away by bus (cosmic bus) to strange new courts. After playing some twenty or so levels and encountering increasingly bewildering cyber-brick edifices another player much like yourself appears and challenges you to hit the ball past him: once defeated he is neither seen nor heard from again?! This brave new future is the one on which I am setting my sights: may the vectorization process commence!
He appears to have some form of primitive organs: notice the size of the brain - and I thought squash was the game of choice for academics.














 Trick shots abound - yet there is nobody (save an alluring omniscient Japanese woman) in this dimension to show off to! Wait a minute...

Racketboy Article
Download from Snesorama
Walkthrough at GameFAQ's 
Great Fansite
 Cosmic Bus 777

Next time you find yourself noisily squeaking and extolling gallons of sweat on the squash courts of Earth: cast your mind to that odorless yet funky far off galaxy in which the game reached its logical conclusion. Pirouetting and bounding you effortlessly slap your squash ball into a pile of neon blocks only to see them evaporate: producing a myriad chirping sounds. All the while, mild techno resonates from the walls of your court: as you glide on a steady vector through the vacuum of space.

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Typing of the Dead - PC / Dreamcast



How fast could Schwarzenegger type? I doubt those muscle bound rookers could have approached 60wpm. If this is indeed the case then the greatest action hero of our time is probably a zombie by now! Perhaps Jackie Chan could have done better, but then his fingers have been broken so many times. The world expects a new generation of champions to step forth: stenographers the world is yours! In a vast improvement to the original lightgun concept: Typing of the Dead gets more than just your trigger finger working, as you type one frenzied nonsensical sentence after another in a desperate effort to hold back the undead hordes. The one thing missing is targeting...if you could only somehow aim your keyboard. The ridiculous phrases are the perfect anathema to the C-movie acting and plot. It's almost like shooting, I mean typing your way through an Ed Wood movie!

Download from Megaupload

This was released originally for Dreamcast and then later made a welcome appearance on the PC. Now you can pass your basic IT course and really accomplish something. The keyboard is truly mightier than the shotgun!